I am better than you are...nope, maybe, who knows

Families are all different and make do with what is placed in front of them. So which is better? Which is right? That answer is complex and drips with anger from each side of the spectrum. You know what I am talking about; the working family vs. a spouse that stays at home. I will not limit that category to a stay at home mother (SAHM) since more families find the dad at home. I placed a graphic up last week showing what a SAHM should be paid and had many working parents send me messages about they do it all and work too. My general response is that a working parent is underpaid. However SAHMs are not "paid" at all. So the question hangs out there though, would you work if you had to? Some mothers love being home, some mothers love to work. Do children of working parents miss their parents? Do parents who keep their kids at home with them shelter them?

I have to work, and for only a few months of my life have not worked at all and stayed home. I enjoy using my mommy skills and I enjoy helping families through prenatal and postpartum issues as well. I like using my project management skills in the corporate world but also detest a lot of the corporate culture.....about as much as I despise the constant whining and bickering my daughters are doing these days. This morning for about ten minutes I listened to, "you are stupid, and you are a butthead" for about ten minutes. Now mind you, both of these words are taboo in our home but I was waiting for one of the girls to come ask for help. Neither did and they moved on. That is a gold medal for me! Woot woot!

Ah, alas I also get a fat F in the medal category for my clean house, perfect dinners, and crafty skills. I use my microwave, I got a pizza for lunch on Sunday, and my car looks like a hoarders television show. Many of you are saying it is ok, your kids know you love them. Why yes, yes they do but only because I have been lucky in my last year to have employment. Not just regular 8-5 employment but flexible consulting work. It has helped me balance my life and figure out how to work and be a

parent. I have started to heal my adrenal fatigue. I have found love with my fiancé, and I have found I kind of like my kids.....a lot. They were outside playing together this weekend and I just watched from afar. Literally, stayed hidden and watched. It was surreal and inspiring to see them play, enjoy life, and check emails in between giggles from my ipad or iphone and respond or call someone here and there. Is this my preference? I think so today, tomorrow may be different. However my question is for the others who are doing life and how they do it. I think we all need to find this peace no matter where we spend our days.

I have a village....fiancé, parents, future mother in law, and friends that create my circle of life. My house is a mess, I work on deadlines, and I have learned to enjoy relaxation. If I have to choose between cleaning or sitting, a few years ago is would have cleaned. Now? Most of the time I am going to sit. Call me lazy, call me a bad mom, say whatever you want. I will just stick my tongue out at you. My life is what it is and I love my friends who can stay at home and I love my friends who have to or choose to work. I cuddle with my kids and i go places with friends. my kids have sleepovers with friends and grandparents and sometimes sleep in my bed. Which do you prefer? What is fair? How can we as a society support these choices in life? What about as women?