Dear Barbara Boxer

In response to a recent press conference held by the current Senator Barbara Boxer, I decided I could not stay silent and still consider myself an active supporter of both equal Civil Rights as well as focusing my career on helping to end the decades of health disparity issues perpetuated by power, money, and many times an unknowing sense of the core issues at hand. Poverty is crippling. It effects not only those trapped within its confines, but also the economy and entire country, constantly hindered by its domino effect to education and life achievements. I encourage everyone to take a deep look at the root causes of poverty, the infinite number of consequences related to it, and the courageous strides that have been made to counteract this in recent times beginning at birth.
http://www.mercurynews.com/my-town/ci_27552836/emeryville-sen-barbara-boxer-slams-anti-vaccination-parents

Dear Senator Boxer,

I am a long time constitute of yours; casting my vote by your name since I first could even vote. I work endlessly in my career with a wide variety of populations. In the past decade however I have been engrained in racial disparity work and decreasing health disparities particularly within Maternal Child Health, Much of this work has focused around access to a high quality of care, creating a continuity of care, and engaging with and contracting with Head Start offices as well as other types of CBO's, Foundations, and non-profits.

Head Start is an amazing program, performing to erase the damage of childhood poverty and the unfortunate domino effect to later educational and life goals. Head Start does this by specifically serving the population most at risk. This population does not have a choice for access for either early care or preschool. Early Head Start as well as Head Start that has shown to lift these children up and increase their entrance scores and skills for kinder as well as later grades.

I was disappointed by the statement made, "We're not forcing anybody to get vaccinated...if you want to get into Head Start and you don't want to get vaccinated, bye, bye, go somewhere else." Our economy is finally in rebound. Underneath our current president, programs such as Head Start, Healthy Start, Nurse Family Partnership, and after school programs have flourished and expanded. The sole focus of these programs is to ensure, as many other countries do, that children within the United States are properly attached, cared for, and educated from early on. These programs will create a positive ripple effect within our country.

However, mandating entrance to these programs around parental choice and stating they should just go elsewhere is power and prejudice at its worst. I stand strong for freedom to speech, freedom of choice, and the simple tenets of beliefs around those items. How can we in one breath state the government has no right to come into our uterus as a woman because it is our choice while many claim abortion is not for the greater good, condoning murder by allowing it but now stand tall and state that children who need access to high quality care not be allowed to do it simply because a parent has made a choice we may not agree with?

Daycare costs continue to spiral for even middle class families. Single and both parent households are forced to work and find care for their children within our current state of economy. Those who cannot afford private care within their homes then seek out high quality options such as Head Start to ensure the safety of their child as well as the best likelihood for success in later life; to climb out of the grips of poverty. Making them choose between a personal choice and access to care is force. It is an abuse of power and makes me sad to call myself a democrat. Regardless of our thoughts to their beliefs, we as Americans are entitled to the freedom of our thoughts and practice. Anything that interferes with that, is simply an abuse of power, fracturing the civil rights of families who have no where else to go. We begin to go down a slippery slope of what the government constitutes is for the greater good vs. what we have founded American upon. We must look upon our past, learn, and not forget so we can move forward remembering that we as a country must work together to find solutions that may not be loved by all but support all equally. Let us not forget what a wise man once said so we can prevent the further displacement of our party and giving fuel to the fire of others, "“When a man is denied the right to live the life he believes in, he has no choice but to become an outlaw.” --Nelson Mandela

Lost innocence in one word

Blonde with blue green eyes, my obvious Caucasian ten year old son still believes in Santa; barely, he pushes more each month on this topic. He lives a more privileged life than many in this country, however not overindulged. He has been raised so far to appreciate what he has and to be himself. He understands each person is unique and to be compassionate of differences. He tells me every chance he can about his dreams of playing professional soccer, being a pilot, or going to the moon. He is by all definitions a child, to which no other word compares. I do not have to look back at pictures to see how much he has grown and changed, yet he is still a child. I do not have to think about him starting junior high next year, yet he is still a child. Children are innocent, children are pure, children are by no better word or phrase children.

When you close your eyes and think of children most would describe playgrounds, the sounds of laughter, and the feelings of deep hugs. I close my eyes and see my children, yet as of last week one of those children has lost a piece of innocence. He has grown up and faster than my heart was ready for. He is not upset by what caused him to grow up so quickly. In my eyes, it is the sadness of a mother and her heart to know that he by the mere conversation we had to have is no longer a child. He is no longer part of an innocent children’s world. He is now a part of the adult world. The world that is not always fair and just where the greatest concern is about playing four square tournaments or finishing your homework.

My brain may have been ready for the conversation, but my heart was not. Fall was in the air and a slight chill took that morning by storm. I felt the cold that hit my face as my daughter opened the door and each took steps to go towards the car. My son stopped, turned around as I began to take a step and reach for the door and said the words that have now forever changed the world that I can pretend he should forever live in. “Mom, what is a n-i-g-g-e-r?” He spelled it out. The cold felt much colder and the feelings of innocence for his world left my heart. “Where did you hear that?” I asked. “I didn’t hear it, I read it.”  He proudly replied and showed me the book he checked out from his school library and pointed to the word. With every syllable and explicit letter pronunciation I did my best to hide the internal fear growing inside me for what I should and needed to now say.

He had no notion to what he was asking. He had no fear or preconception about the implications the words drew upon me. I drew a deep cold breath and told him we would talk about it after his sister got out of the car at school. I now had a very short few miles to get my thoughts and feelings together. Out went my first grader on her side of the school and around we pulled into the other parking lot where I pulled into a spot and put into park. “Why are we parking?” he asked. “So we can talk about the word you asked about.” I said. “Oh okay,” he nonchalantly replied. Innocent to the word, innocent to the feelings, and innocent to the loss a mother was now feeling as she began to describe a word that changed how he now was viewed to her.

You see, as a fifth grader he has learned about slavery, he has learned about the civil rights movement, and the farm laborer movements. He knows the importance of Rosa Parks, Cesar Chavez, and that Christopher Columbus was no hero. What he does not know are the privileges he holds because of the color of his skin and why one word, two syllables, alters now the world I feel he lives in. We discussed the cultural implications to the word. I said the word out loud and tried not to hang my head. I explained where it came from and how it is used today by differing people and why he may be confused about hearing it from his African American friends or in songs as he grew. To him, it was another example of how the world had changed. To his mother, it was the defining moment that the world she wanted him to live in, the world she saw him in, full of innocence and purity had changed. 
As a Caucasian child and a Caucasian mother I could only hope he made the right choices in his future about use of the word and others like it. However my heart sank that those were choices that he would have to make, and as a mother, what I really wanted, was the innocence in his world to stay intact. He is growing up. He is no longer my baby. However, I wish his world was as simple as it is when he is on the soccer field and his greatest challenge is figuring out who is open and who he can pass the ball to so it can be put into the back of the net. Now I realize that the challenges begin to counteract the hate and foster the love, so he continues to pass the ball to whoever is open and can put it into the net, instead of being a ball hog or even worse ignoring the open man on the sideline. 

It's Getting Crunchy in Here!!!!

It's getting hot here in Cali, yes I am a California kid and many of my friends are still digging out of snow in other states. Before you start thinking about beaches or big cities, we are in Central California; ag-land people! Home of the falling over right, blue dogging left, almond growing, milk making families.

Orchard at our ranch

We also have some other great areas we place top on the list for too like obesity, diabetes, breastfeeding, vehicular death rates; I could go on and on. Sometimes I feel out of place as a crunchy, moderate leaning....wait what am I? Refer to my very first post and tell me what you are and maybe next time I will explain more about myself.

One thing I can say for sure is I will find a way to save a dollar but I reason about risk vs. benefit. Let me further explain that this risk is both why is it bad for me or us and how much work do I have to put into it. My recent explorations have met with crazy a lot of, "oohhh tell me more" or "say what?!" and I promised I would write about it so here goes. A few years back I had a large cyst like thing in my right underarm area (yes men, I mean my boob area) and of course I panicked. My wonderfully amazing doctor assured me it was nothing and so on I went but it kept bothering me. Then another doctor told me to change deodorants so off I did what all mamas do. I googled it. Wowzers! Who knew there was so much talk about this stuff. So I went off my regular Costco bulk buys and changed at first over to Toms. Eek, I stunk after 2 hours. Nope, no way. Some told me it was my "purging time" which is about as pleasant as it sounds. Then someone turned me onto Primal Pit Paste, which sounds horrid but worked amazing until I started breaking out. Customer service even sent me some new stuff to make sure it was not the batch but it came right back. Most would have stopped by now but the painful cyst I had was gone! I also noticed the stench was getting less and less. Sorry to any of my clients or friends who had to endure that portion of my life : )

Anyhow, I found another brand that I do like, but damn this stuff is not cheap. None of the others were too but this stuff was even more. So I made a promise to myself to take the next leap that many facebook friends had swore by and I bought my last stick and told myself the next batch I was making. Everyone online swore by coconut oil but like the song says, its getting hot in here and that stuff melts! So off to Pinterest I went...damn you friend who made me start pining for my upcoming wedding you know who you are...and found a "summer time recipe." I made some changes based on my needs so here is what I did but followed her directions. Day 2 and no breakout so far and no stench even after doing intense work in the garden and yoga. I will keep updating this but so far I am sold! You can now call me crunchy or whatever name you feel fits the bill, my recipe is after the in the making pics so you know that I actually did it and see how easy it can be. Peace out.

Yes that is my son's math homework under the bowl...but it is old and already graded do not judge me.

Who needs a fancy smancy double boiler when you have an old peach jar?

Lemon Blast All Natural Stink Blaster

1/4 cup baking soda (thank you Costco)
1/4 cup Arrowroot Powder (yeah good luck, just do Amazon of whole foods)
2.5 Tbsp Coconut Oil (this was because I just scoop with the tablespoon and toss into the melting pot so it is usually a little more or less)
1 Tbsp beeswax pastilles (mountain rose herbs)
8 drops Melaleuca oil (AKA: tea tree oil from my doterra stash)
10 drops Lemon oil (my doterra stash)

Practice what you preach

Kimberly Seals Allers did a great post yesterday over at Mocha Manual about something that is near and dear to me on a grand level; beyond her central meaning. She spoke about the lessons we all could learn from the Pope.

See he has done what few public figures have done, let alone a public figure that has influence over a large part of not just a nation but a large chunk of the world. The Pope on two separate occasions now has stood strong about mothers feeding their babies how God intended and them being the most important person in the Sistene Chapel. Why is this so important to me? I firmly believe and teach my children that we practice what we preach. For me that may mean supporting breastfeeding with a family when it is not always easy, but I support them either way. It also means living up to what this kitchen Catholic was raised to know and breathe about religion. We are here to help others. We are here to raise above differences and be the better person to create a better community for our children and families to grow and thrive in.

Religious organizations are a great example. Not only do many churches simply deny a woman the right to breastfeed at church, others ask them to sit in certain places or even different rooms. Now, if the mother wants her privacy to go into the other room (or has a crazy toddler as I do and choose to go into the other room) then that is her right and kudos to the church for offering that. However, those that shun the families there should be ashamed and called out by their followers, by their leaders, and ask themselves the same that the Mocha Manual did yesterday....what would Jesus do?

This is above the breastfeeding issue. How many religious organizations, non-profits, or singular people do you know that preach something over and over though their votes and daily bickerings yet do nothing to change it? I am guilty of not attending church any longer because I felt disconnected to the strong messages I heard that were contrary to what I knew to be Catholic. The new Pope brings hope to me that young Catholics such as myself can find their way to giving through their churches and faith. What about the rest of you? What about those that are not religious? The central theme around this is practicing what your preach. Think there is nothing to do where you live? Find a group working to change that? Dislike the areas police ignore? Go speak at City Council meetings. I want my generation to become more charged and teach their children that is how communities are made; religious or otherwise.

Moms Rising magnets. Go to www.momsrising.org

Know who you are, what you stand for, and teach that to your kids, teach it to others. Whether you lean left, right, forward or backward does not matter. Hold true to who you believe yourself to be and act accordingly across the board, not when it suits your personal or political views. Come on get up and roar.

Peace Out.

I am better than you are...nope, maybe, who knows

Families are all different and make do with what is placed in front of them. So which is better? Which is right? That answer is complex and drips with anger from each side of the spectrum. You know what I am talking about; the working family vs. a spouse that stays at home. I will not limit that category to a stay at home mother (SAHM) since more families find the dad at home. I placed a graphic up last week showing what a SAHM should be paid and had many working parents send me messages about they do it all and work too. My general response is that a working parent is underpaid. However SAHMs are not "paid" at all. So the question hangs out there though, would you work if you had to? Some mothers love being home, some mothers love to work. Do children of working parents miss their parents? Do parents who keep their kids at home with them shelter them?

I have to work, and for only a few months of my life have not worked at all and stayed home. I enjoy using my mommy skills and I enjoy helping families through prenatal and postpartum issues as well. I like using my project management skills in the corporate world but also detest a lot of the corporate culture.....about as much as I despise the constant whining and bickering my daughters are doing these days. This morning for about ten minutes I listened to, "you are stupid, and you are a butthead" for about ten minutes. Now mind you, both of these words are taboo in our home but I was waiting for one of the girls to come ask for help. Neither did and they moved on. That is a gold medal for me! Woot woot!

Ah, alas I also get a fat F in the medal category for my clean house, perfect dinners, and crafty skills. I use my microwave, I got a pizza for lunch on Sunday, and my car looks like a hoarders television show. Many of you are saying it is ok, your kids know you love them. Why yes, yes they do but only because I have been lucky in my last year to have employment. Not just regular 8-5 employment but flexible consulting work. It has helped me balance my life and figure out how to work and be a

parent. I have started to heal my adrenal fatigue. I have found love with my fiancé, and I have found I kind of like my kids.....a lot. They were outside playing together this weekend and I just watched from afar. Literally, stayed hidden and watched. It was surreal and inspiring to see them play, enjoy life, and check emails in between giggles from my ipad or iphone and respond or call someone here and there. Is this my preference? I think so today, tomorrow may be different. However my question is for the others who are doing life and how they do it. I think we all need to find this peace no matter where we spend our days.

I have a village....fiancé, parents, future mother in law, and friends that create my circle of life. My house is a mess, I work on deadlines, and I have learned to enjoy relaxation. If I have to choose between cleaning or sitting, a few years ago is would have cleaned. Now? Most of the time I am going to sit. Call me lazy, call me a bad mom, say whatever you want. I will just stick my tongue out at you. My life is what it is and I love my friends who can stay at home and I love my friends who have to or choose to work. I cuddle with my kids and i go places with friends. my kids have sleepovers with friends and grandparents and sometimes sleep in my bed. Which do you prefer? What is fair? How can we as a society support these choices in life? What about as women?

Moving into February!

Uh oh, it is the last day of January and how many have already fallen off their bandwagon of resolutions? I surely am not walking 5 days a week like I said I would but am meeting some of my goals. The last post was about slowing down, saying no, and learning to say yes to the right things....kids hugs, putting yourself first, more kids hugs and kisses, and unplugging in life as much as you can.

HA! Do you know how hard this is when you work, have three kids (four if you count the biggest one of all in the house), 2 dogs, and decided to get married? Oh boy. Tell me, how are you sticking to your desire for the year? One thing I noticed in yoga (where I sweat like a pig.....horrible saying since pigs do not sweat btw) is at the end she lays an eye pillow on me and that sweet smell of girliness just sends me to relaxation heaven. What on earth was it? Lavendar! So I started looking at incorporating those kinds of reminders into my daily life to trigger me to slow down.

Since I have been using and learning more I finally placed my first big order and am happy to say you can learn more too. I love sharing knowledge and doing it in a fun way. Whether it be relaxation, cooking, or healing oils rock!

So tell me, how we as mothers sometimes get in our own way, and the methods you are taking to remind yourself to slow down and live life well. Go here to learn more about the oils I am using and so many of my friends now!

http://www.mydoterra.com/beforeandafterbaby/essentialDefinition.html

Renewing Yourself in The New Year

It is the new year so thousands start the year with goals they would like to accomplish or work on for the new year. Of course we can look at items in stores and know a lot of these are about weight loss by the items within stores we shop at and how everyone we know and follow show new walking scores, new testaments on how to do this or that, and the endless magazine cover pages about becoming a new you.
So as a mother, what does that mean to be a new you? For me it means continuing on the path that I started in 2013 to put myself first in my life. GASP! My kids are not first? What about my partner fiance? (oh yeah I got engaged over the holiday but we will save that for another post)

Early in my college career, I can call it a career because it took far too long and I have attended more colleges than most in my life, I learned that the best parents are one who value their relationship first. I have learned that the non-stop parenting model I employed for years took all my energy away and made me cranky and less than enjoyable to be around. I learned that you should have a partner in life who may not be just like you, but at the core of their values in life, believes in what you believe in. So, I started saying no to things. I stopped going to every meeting that I could go to even if it was okay for kids to be there and they had a room for them to play in. I began to dance around the house, I began to stay in bed past 5:30 AM, I began to cook more and more, and I actually started to date my boyfriend.

To some the last part may be hilarious since we already lived together and have a child, plus my previous two, however we lost who we were together, the fun that we had, and who we were as individuals before becoming parents. So we started movie nights, sometimes out and sometimes in. I went out with friends, just because I could. I saw plays, watched my youngest start preschool and forged a path within my career that although bumpy is working out. I enjoyed each piece of that.

If you have not figured it out, I learned to let go. Let go of thinking I had to be the best room mother, I had to make the best crafts (I am girl stupid so crafts and I are like foreign languages), etc. However I did coach my daughters soccer team and loved it, even though she is only there half the time. I started helping in her classroom too. I engage with my older sons teachers as well so they know if they need anything to just ask. I pushed my kids out the door to go play and be creative and over Christmas break they even began to play together more and be happy together instead of trying to kill one another. Makeup goes on when I want it to go on as opposed to because I think it needs to go on. I am trying to yell less, walk away more, and stand up for myself. Doing these things has made me a better person which has made me a better mom. Yoga is a great workout and helps me relax and my 6 year old comes with me and works on breathing too.

This has made me feel whole, it has made me feel balanced. So renewing myself for 2014 is sticking to this path and now fine tuning it with my children benefiting along the way!
So tell me, what is your path for 2014? Where are you wanting to go in life?